SolveYourProblem eLearning Series:
I've Got Way Too Much Stress!
I need stress relief now...

Dealing With Stress

Use Rational Thought to Deal with Stress

The practice of rational thought allows you to separate the positive from the negative. Study each of the negative thoughts that you have identified using Thought Awareness. Look at each thought and ask yourself if this thought is, in fact, reasonable. Many people find this step very difficult, because you must be somewhat objective to get it right. You must separate the emotion from the rational.

Let’s take a look now at your Stress Diary. We will identify where you have had frequent negative thoughts:

• I feel inadequate (written 5 times in 6 days)
• I feel taken advantage of (written 3 times in 5 days)
• I feel I am not appreciated by my kids (written 6 times in 6 days)

Are the above comments only thoughts and feelings on your part or can you back your feelings up with actions?

For example: I feel inadequate because when I was asked to bake for the bake sale, I felt poorly that day and remained in bed, unable to bake.

Ask yourself if this is an occurrence that is frequent (your staying in bed and not baking) or if this was a one time thing.

If the answer is that you do, in fact, stay in bed a good deal rather than participate in some school function, you might want to look further into avoidance issues.

On the other hand, if this was just a one time thing for you, you could easily tell yourself that your feelings are unwarranted and your kids would understand that you wanted to bake but simply could not at that time. There will be plenty of other school functions that you will be able to help out with.

The key to rational thought is to clarify and identify truth and underlying thoughts and feelings. When you can do this, you are better able to deal with any stress that results.

Left with the actual negative feelings and thoughts, you are now warned to take appropriate, and if need be, immediate action to ward off any subsequent stress.

Lastly, positively affirm those thoughts and feelings that turned out to be less than negative.

For example:

I felt inadequate, however, I no longer do. I now realize that I do participate when called upon by my kid’s school to contribute, unless I am unable to help at that time. I will continue to help out to the best of my ability and where time permits.

So long as you mean what you write (and say it out verbally) you will feel the stress leave your body and mind as you state the positive and negate the negative.

Go through your entire Stress Diary in this way and you will feel much more relaxed and be less apt to make similar entries into your Stress Diary next time around.

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