SolveYourProblem Article Series: Self Esteem, Self Worth & Shyness
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How To Raise Low Self Esteem In Men

In men, low self esteem is often related to perceived values of what a real man should be. The ideal man is usually perceived to be tall, strong, handsome, successful, independent, intelligent and able to fix things (either physical things like machines, or situations). He's the hero who stands up for what he believes in and protects those weaker than himself.

This means that if a man feels he does not live up to the ideal in any way, he could start to place a low value on himself. If he has been brought up to believe in the hero myth and then he turns out to be shorter than average, small in the genital area or too clumsy to fix a shelf, he may feel he is not acceptable as a man. That is, unless he can develop some different beliefs about the value of human beings.

Of course, most or all of us do not fit the 'perfect guy' ideal in one way or another. So why is it that some guys do not seem to mind being less than average in some ways while others have a real problem with it?

The problem is often rooted in childhood. Other people's responses to us when we are young can be internalized so that we believe they are true always and forever. Kids have a hard time getting perspective on a situation.

Young kids tend to assume that whatever their parents believe is right, for example. So if the parents seem to believe that their kid is lacking in some way, he will grow up believing that too. He quickly forgets that this was just his parents' attitude, as it appeared to him when he was small. Valuing himself low has become part of his world view.

But the good news is that even for these men low self esteem can be overcome. Here are some simple steps that you can take to help yourself out of the rut.

1. Accept that everybody is different and there is no ideal man.
2. Stop comparing yourself with others. We are all individuals and in the eyes of God or the universe, nobody is worth any more than anybody else.
3. Set realistic goals for things you want to achieve. Break them down step by step and keep doing the steps until you get there. Even small successes can make a difference to how you feel about yourself.
4. Try to become aware of when you are using words like can't, should, must, either in speech or in thought. These show up that there is a gap between where you are and where you think you should be. Instead, give yourself permission to do things or not.

Having low feelings of self worth can be a vicious circle, taking your self esteem lower and lower. After all, the ideal guy is confident too, right? So if you have low self esteem, that is yet another reason for beating yourself up. In men low self esteem should be tackled as soon as possible, before it takes you into a downward spin.

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by SolveYourProblem.com : 2010

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