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Article Series: Self Esteem, Self Worth & Shyness
I Desperately Want To Feel Better About Myself
How
To Raise Low Self Esteem In Children
When it comes to low self esteem children
can suffer a great deal. They come to believe that they are
valueless. This can lead to depression and despair, or in some
cases to aggression and meanness. So what is low self esteem
and why does it affect so many children?
Children
are very vulnerable to feeling that they are not as good
or as valuable as other people. This is partly because
the nature of being a child means being dependent on others.
Therefore, other people's view of them has a very important
place in their lives.
Children who are abandoned, mistreated, bullied or made to
feel like they do not belong in their families or in their
peer group are particularly likely to suffer from low self
esteem. Other people's views become internalized so that the
child believes in them and comes to put a low value on himself
or herself.
Once this low valuation has been internalized,
it is more difficult to erase. Moving the child into a situation
where
he is valued and loved by others will not be enough, because
it is no longer just a matter of what other people think. The
low self esteem child may believe that he has managed to fool
people now, and that's why they care for him: "If they
knew the REAL ME, they would not like me at all!"
This
belief often persists into adulthood and can blight a person's
whole life. They may spend their time trying to cover
up who they really are because they do not expect their real
self to be accepted. Or they may get into situations where
they are not valued, to reinforce their own beliefs about themselves.
Therefore it is best if low self esteem children can be helped
as soon as possible. In difficult situations, parents and teachers
can help by showing the child that she is still valued even
if she is not good at whatever the other kids are doing.
It is important to be interested in what the child actually
feels and thinks, so listen whenever they are telling you something
about their lives or activities. Watch out for negativity,
especially when they are talking about themselves. If they
do put themselves down, don't just tell them they are wrong
because this is yet another negative to add to all of their
bad feelings about themselves.
Instead, point up what they have said and ask
if that is really how they feel. For example, imagine that
your child tells you
that her teacher thought she was drawing a dog when it was
supposed to be a cat and follows that up by saying, "I'm
hopeless at art." Does she really think that the teacher's
mistake means that she is hopeless? What would she say to her
best friend if the same thing happened to her?
There is no need to judge a child's experience or tell them
that what they feel is wrong. Accept that their experience
of the world is valid, but help them understand that there
is not one fixed way of seeing things. This can help low self
esteem children to open up and see that they are acceptable
even if they show what they really feel. Click here to discover my current SolveYourProblem recommendation and choice pick for the fastest, easiest and best self-esteem and shyness solution you'll find anywhere. Get it and reward yourself with a feeling of incredible self-worth.
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by SolveYourProblem.com
: 2010
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