SolveYourProblem eLearning Series: Self Confidence
How Do I Improve My Self Confidence?

What Are Self-Destructive Behaviors?
   

Do you ever feel like you are your own worst enemy? Drugs. Drinking. Overeating. Nasty behaviors can seriously lower how you feel about yourself. Sometimes that's the point. Trauma throughout your life can make you feel like you don't deserve to be attractive, socially satisfied or financially stable. You may need professional help to totally turn this attitude around, but there are also some things you can do on your own.

Appreciate You Every Day of Your Life

You might be wondering what there is to appreciate, or maybe you associate your good points with something bad. Don't discount your abilities. You may not be using them for the best things right now, but you can always change. Remember, baby steps make things possible.

Let's look at Jay. He's everyone's favorite guy. Cute. Funny. Outwardly confident. Those traits got him a place with the local dealer supplying drugs to society's upper crust, and he's making loads of money. He's also constantly worrying about the police, and the women in his life don't take him very seriously.

He's still personable, funny, and knows how to make himself look presentable. Those are skills he can use in many fields to be successful, but it takes recognizing them first.

After looking at your life you may still see nothing worth celebrating. Journal. At the end of each day write down a play-by-play of everything you did from waking up to lying down. Somewhere buried among the bathroom breaks and playing solitaire on the computer at work, you'll find something you affected in a positive way. Maybe you held the door open on the elevator (courteous) or you walked home instead of hailing a cab (healthy choices, and adventurous).

Evaluate Your Interests

Anyone who has ever raised a puppy knows all about boredom, and destructive behavior. It may be your routine is driving you to create chaos, because inevitably chaos creates change.

What are your interests? What Hobbies do you have? Have you been doing the same old thing for too long?

Boredom can have a lot to do with other people. Are you satisfied with your social life? Are you getting involved?

On the other hand, you can be involved in too many things and self-destructive behaviors can be means of shirking some of your duties. If you are active, how many of your activities do you truly enjoy? How many are done out of a sense of obligation?

Sometimes we have to return to our roots, read and watch everything around us and jump on anything that we're interested in.

Take Alise, for instance. She became a stay-at-home mom when her son was born, but six months down the road she started smoking again. She was doing it in private, outside, and Hiding it from her husband. Over time she started smoking on the back porch while he was home, and inevitably, he caught her.

Alise's husband was upset that she was risking her health, but also because they'd made a commitment to quit smoking together. She was breaking that and didn't seem to care at all about it. In truth, she didn't. She cared more about getting caught and stirring things up.

Balancing Action and Intention

Obviously Alise was home to provide a better life for her son, but she wound up hurting her family and her own health. She decided to take one afternoon a week and put her son in daycare, so she could delve into a hobby of her own. It was the perfect balance for their growing family, and her actions supported her intention. By taking a little time out for herself, she was able to devote her whole heart to her family while she was home.

Taking this step requires some honesty. What do you want for your life? What effects are your actions having on that goal? How can you change for the better, and what are the steps to getting there?

The initial baby step for Alice was admitting she needed time alone. That was a very hard admission for a new mom, but afterward she was proud of herself for looking past her ego.

Self-confidence, even in little doses will help you overcome your self-destructive behaviors and claim the life you want and deserve.

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by SolveYourProblem.com : 2006

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