SolveYourProblem eLearning Series: Self Confidence
How Do I Improve My Self Confidence?

Are You Self-Confident or Narcissistic?
   

Surprisingly, human beings are born narcissistic. As infants we're completely enthralled with ourselves. Everything in the Universe revolves around the Big Me, and "the other people" exist merely to fit our needs. This attitude continues into childhood, until we begin to care about other people in a similar way to how we care for ourselves.

Similarly, later in life, people go through narcissistic stints. Hugh hits 40 and spends his retirement fund (meant to provide for he and his wife in their later years) and buys a Dodge Viper. He doesn't care about his wife's feelings, or their future life together. He doesn't care about anything but meeting his wants and needs for right now. Then there is Lorie who moves directly from grad school back into her parents house. She pretends not to notice her mom's nudging, but honestly, she just doesn't care if she's a bother. She isn't ready to get a job and move out.

Narcissism tends to pop up whenever people go through transitions. You may feel this way the next time you're trying to figure out your role in life. Once you do, you stop thinking about all the wonderful things you have to offer and remember you have opportunities to improve.

When is Narcissism a Problem?

If during those transitional times, particularly as a young child, your search for your place is interrupted, you stop relying on others to help you. You become an independent component in the Universe, a world unto yourself. You no longer need others. Therefore, what you do is perfect, and there is no room for improvement. This is different from a perfectionist who fears criticism. Narcissists don't believe others' criticism has any merit.

Narcissism is a problem because it keeps you from improving your circumstances. It's also terrible on the people around you. True narcissists will lie, cheat, abuse and steal. No matter what they do, they feel justified in doing it.

Narcissism is a serious psychological problem. This is a disorder that requires mental health care. Intensive therapy works. Self-therapy doesn't. The catch to this is, of course, who does a narcissistic trust more than himself?

Am I a Narcissist?

Chances are if you're asking yourself that question, the answer is no. They think they're perfect, remember?

You might be afraid of improving self-confidence, of beefing up your self-esteem, or even acknowledging that you've done something well for the fear of being labeled "full of yourself." Depending on who you surround yourself with, you might get some criticism. Friends and family can be viciously jealous, and will try to drag you back down to their playing field. At the end of the day though, you deserve to be praised for your accomplishments. You deserve to trust in yourself.

However, self-confidence emphasis positive, realistic thinking which includes how you can improve. Once a person has reached that level of acceptance, they aren't running around judging people who need to change.

Don't let the fear of becoming haughty or controlling keep you from improving your self-image. Men and women who act in those ways aren't really secure in themselves. Self-confidence means you don't have to compare yourself to someone else in order to know you're on the right track. You base that knowledge on the goals that you've set, and the bite-sized accomplishments taking you there.

Building Trust in Yourself

Whether you feel generally unsure of your abilities, or you are meeting a challenge you aren't sure you can tackle on your own, building self-confidence provides you with trust. True trust is earned, so get off your laurels. Stop worrying about the price of success. Put measures in place so you can improve and enjoy it.

Rest assured. As long as you're living, you're changing and growing. As you get older, your interests will change and you'll find yourself at square one all over again. A self-assured person has little threat of becoming narcissistic by beefing up their confidence, mainly because they always have something to work on.

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by SolveYourProblem.com : 2006

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