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eLearning Series: Self Confidence
How Do I Improve My Self Confidence?
Having
Self-Confident Children
Having positive, realistic expectations of
oneself is an attitude that begins to form in infant-hood.
There will be times when you feel a child in your life might
be too big for his or her britches, but - to an extent - narcissism
is a survival instinct in young humans. Really, it's found
in most humans going through transitional periods in life.
What we need to do is help preserve that positive thinking
about oneself and make it more realistic. To do that, children
need to be encouraged, praised and held accountable in appropriate
ways.
The
Spanking Debate
To spank, not to spank. That is a huge question for many of
today's parents. People usually head into their first pregnancy
with expectations for themselves. Again, being in a transitional
period, expectant parents can be a bit narcissistic too. They
may have unrealistic expectations regarding the behavior of
their child, and be unable to handle problems when they come
along.
Spanking teaches a child that someone else will hurt them
if they fail. There may be exceptions to this rule, but that
does not encourage them to take risks, or feel supported when
they don't succeed.
Bribery
Surprisingly, rewards can be just as damaging. When children
are taught to put forth effort for a star, a grade, or a toy,
they disconnect the process with personal growth and pride
in themselves.
You may hear a child who is used to earning
rewards say, when asked to do something, "What do I get for doing it?" Is
this the attitude we want to teach to our children? That their
value depends on what they earn? No. We want them to value
themselves for their abilities and hard work.
Your Kids
Listening is the number one way to show your child that you
care. That goes a long way in helping them care about themselves.
Listen through the jokes and the stories, and you'll pick up
a lot of important tips along the way. You also set the stage
for shared listening, when they pay attention to your stories
about your own childhood. This technique can be used for encouragement
and to help your child solve problems.
Parents often judge how well they are doing by the number
of activities their children are involved in, their grades,
or their number of awards. It's time we realized one has nothing
to do with the other. Our job is raising children into healthy
adults who aren't afraid to improve themselves. Yes, children
need encouragement to try new things and praise when they put
for the effort, but we need to encourage them to try things
they are interested in and take the focus off how much they
can accomplish.
The Kids in Our Lives
It's much easier to parent your own child than someone else's.
Every child - even those from wonderful homes - need healthy
outside role models. You can help children outside your family
build self-confidence by setting an example. Try new things
and encourage others to do the same. Ask them what they are
interested in. Reinforce the possibilities life holds, and
how easy it is to make big things happen one step at a time.
If you are optimistic about life, you'll inspire optimism
and action in others.
Stay Positive about Other Parents
One of the biggest mistakes adults make is cutting down parents
in front of children. Not just their own parent either. Whenever
you complain about this mom or this dad, it makes a child wonder
if you ever talk about their family that way. If you're speaking
in front of your own child, it might make them afraid that
other people criticize you ... and them.
Display healthy attitudes about yourself by not tearing into
someone else. The damage you do to the child in your life is
much greater than the relief you get from venting about a fellow
adult.
Kids need help seeing themselves in positive and realistic
ways. The easiest ways to do that are by providing an open
ear, and being a self-confident adult. It's not always easy,
but you do see a return on your investment.
Click here to discover my current SolveYourProblem recommendation and choice pick for the fastest, easiest and best self-confidence solution you'll find anywhere. Get it and reward yourself with a happier, more confident life.
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by SolveYourProblem.com
: 2006
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