SolveYourProblem eLearning Series: Self Confidence
How Do I Improve My Self Confidence?
( 50 articles in this series )

Self Confidence: Shyness and Introverts
   

Do you find that an otherwise innocent occurrence like meeting your new neighbors can cause your heart to pound and leave you feeling awkward and uncomfortable? You may be shy, preferring to stay out of the limelight, avoiding conversation and interaction.

Some people who are labeled "shy" are actually introverts. Introverts draw their energy from within themselves rather than from interacting with others. So while an extrovert is making the rounds at an event, the introvert may sit in the corner, observing and thinking about the interesting qualities of the guests around him.

Actual shyness involves more of a feeling of fear. Shy people may not sit back because they prefer to observe; they will sit back because they are afraid of being rejected by others or from similar feelings.

In some cases, shyness is actually a sign of a deeper problem like social anxiety. If your shyness is debilitating, then you may wish to disregard all other advice and seek out a mental health professional to discuss helpful therapies.

One of the keys to being confident in any situation is to be happy with yourself.

If you're perfectly content with being shy and quiet, there's no need to change anything, and you're sure to be a confident person.

If you're secure in your shyness, you may want to get your friends and family on board to help maintain your confidence. Well-meaning relatives will often try to force a shy person into conversation or otherwise put him on the spot, making him increasingly uncomfortable. The more that other people treat you like there's something wrong with you, the more likely you are to start to lose confidence and agree with their perception. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are.

If you feel like your shyness really is impeding your ability to be happy and confident, then you should commit yourself to decreasing your level of shyness.

While it can be difficult to change your fundamental personality, it's possible to take small steps to become more outgoing and more comfortable around others, resulting in more confidence.

When you're starting small, think of some small thing that you can do every day that forces you to interact more with others. Perhaps you'll commit to greeting everyone you see at work and maintaining eye contact for a few seconds instead of staring at the floor. Do this one thing until it becomes a habit and is no longer a struggle. Then think of a slightly more daring goal. If you started out with saying, "hello," maybe you could now try to start a certain number of conversations each day. Gain confidence in your ability to interact with others one bit at a time, and you will only continue to grow.

If you think that you would never actually go through with smaller ways of trying to get past your shyness, maybe you would benefit from throwing yourself into a new activity where you'll either have to sink or swim. Think of something that would put you at the center of attention, such as taking part in a theater performance or even hosting a party and go for it. Once you've realized that you can be more outgoing on a larger scale, dealing with smaller day-to-day interactions will seem simple in comparison.

When you're having a hard time, take confidence in the fact that everyone feels down on themselves at some point. An outgoing person naturally has an easier time in social situations, which may make him appear more confident to outside observers. But no one really knows what is going through his head. The next time you encounter an outgoing person, instead of feeling envious of her ability to start a conversation with anyone, take a moment to consider how she might be feeling on the inside. Maybe she thinks she looks fat in the dress she's wearing or is having trouble at work which is bringing down her confidence.

Just because you aren't the life of the party doesn't mean that you have to have low self confidence. Be secure in who you are and shyness doesn't have to bring you down.

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SolveYourProblem.com : 2006

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