SolveYourProblem eLearning Series: Self Confidence
How Do I Improve My Self Confidence?
( 50 articles in this series )

Self Confidence and Improving Your Life
   

Self-confident people know how they can improve their lives. Improvement leads to success, and whole life fulfillment.

Success has not set definition. It's not money, fame, or landing a raise. Success is whatever you need to feel satisfied with your situation. It's a personal judgment you make about yourself, and it doesn't matter if someone else disagrees. Let them focus on their own success, and they won't be so concerned with yours.

Some people, people who are not self-confident, figure life is good enough and doesn't need any improvement. That's all fine and good until they face a requirement they aren't sure how to handle. The need for immediate change and the doubt that they'll be successful can be overwhelming.

Life's little adjustments don't have to be major events. Improving your marriage doesn't take counseling and legal separation, or a divorce and different partner. All it means is putting in the extra effort to keep each other happy. Those actions will be different for every couple. It could mean making coffee in the morning, or kissing each other before bed every night.

The Threat of Boredom

When you do the same thing, every day, all year for a decade, your subconscious may start to shake things up a bit. You know the woman at work who - after 15 years of happy marriage - starts flirting with the new guy in collections? Or the veteran mailman who starts to "accidentally" drop mail along his route? those people partake in self-destructive behaviors.

Eventually they'll have to face the consequences of those actions, which could easily lead to big changes in their boring lives. The sad thing is, they no longer have the option to make the changes in their own lives. They've handed that power over to somebody else, who could easily make much worse decisions.

Aaron had a great job with a medical supplies company in deliveries. Fresh out of high school, dealing mostly with the infirmed and elderly wasn't exactly where he wanted to be ... but how could he give away a good job with benefits when his parents are so proud of him?

Aaron's in a position where, despite the good job he parents believe is successful, he isn't satisfied with his life. His paycheck hasn't garnered him a sense of fulfillment. If he isn't careful, he may start engaging in self-destructive behaviors and lose his job and his parents' respect.

Link Actions to Your Intentions

During the daily grind, it's easy to lose sense of our focus. We often wind up making decisions that work against our goals. In the example above, Aaron's focus on keeping his job for the sake of stability will eventually lead to his situation falling apart.

How can we make sure our actions fall in line with our intentions? Common sense is not the answer. It makes perfect sense that keeping your job will create a stable environment. Sometimes we have to look at how we feel.

Is what you are doing making you feel good about yourself? Do your actions fulfill you in the here and now? There will never be a time when we are 100% satisfied with life, but sometimes an opportunity feels all wrong.

Take Lisa, for instance. Her husband left her after the birth of their second child and she desperately needs a job. She saw an ad in the paper for exotic dancers. The work hours are good for her, as her mom will watch the kids overnight, and the pay is excellent. Even though financially it would be a good opportunity, she passes because - for her - the job just wasn't a match with her personality.

It's very easy to get caught up in responsibilities and expectations and forget that, as a human, you are limited to a degree by your emotions. If you feel unfulfilled, or despise what you do, you will never make an effort to improve and you will never feel successful.

Self-confidence takes the ability to see what you need to change in order to feel better about your life, and the effort and commitment to make those plans mature. Even if it's done in baby step bites.

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SolveYourProblem.com : 2006

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