SolveYourProblem eLearning Series: Self Confidence
How Do I Improve My Self Confidence?
( 50 articles in this series )

How To Help Others Improve Self Confidence
   

So you say that you have amazing self-confidence and couldn't possibly feel better about yourself. That's great. Now it's time to think about what you can do to share the wealth. By keeping a few simple things in mind, you can help others along the road to self-confidence.

Watch how you comment on the appearance of others. Do you regularly tell your brother that he'd look great if he just lost a few pounds? Do you constantly slip your best friend the number of your personal stylist? While there's nothing wrong with encouraging your friends and family to improve themselves, there's a fine line between encouraging and meddling. Constant nagging on the part of even well meaning associates can lead to nagging feelings of doubt. Sure, you were fine with your appearance, but if even your friends think you're fat/ugly/hairy/etc. then maybe there is something horribly wrong with you.

Do you praise the positive attributes and qualities of your friends, family and co-workers? Sometimes we're too quick to point out faults and lay blame while the good aspects are overlooked. Positive reinforcement can build confidence and lead to success.

Have you ever seen a quality in someone else that they didn't seem to realize? Maybe a friend is a great listener or you wife is creative, but they never use these skills to their own benefit. Perhaps they don't have confidence in their own abilities. It only takes a few minutes of your time to tell a friend about the positive things you see in them and to encourage them to try a new activity that suits them.

Think about all of the customer service personnel you encounter in your daily life. How do you treat them? It can be so easy to yell at the cashier when your cottage cheese doesn't ring up on sale. Even a simple "hello" and "thank you" can instantly improve any interaction. By showing respect for others, you can help them have respect for themselves and increase their self-confidence.

Is there anyone in your life that you're taking for granted? Do you appreciate all of the little things your administrative assistant does to keep the office running smoothly? Do you thank your spouse for all the help he or she does around the house? It can certainly lower your self-confidence to feel like you're doing a thankless job day in and day out. You start to think that maybe you're not worthy of recognition. Showing your appreciation for their hard work could be just the boost they need.

If you're in a position to regularly give feedback to others, do you give them negative feedback in a way that preserves their confidence? One common strategy for giving negative comments is to use a feedback "sandwich." The idea is that you should start with a positive comment, follow up with something negative, and then finish up with a positive thought. By doing this, the good thoughts balance out the areas where the subject needs improvement.

Beyond any particular techniques, so much depends on your overall attitude and tone of voice. You can tell an employee that he needs to improve his sales technique in vastly different ways. If you tell him this and then follow up with some helpful suggestions and a general, "I know you can do it!" attitude, you'll get positive results without destroying his self-confidence. Alternately, his self-confidence won't be so high if your evaluation turns into a harangue.

If you're feeling ambitious in your quest to help others achieve higher self-confidence, you can give gifts related to this theme. Send someone to a motivational seminar on her birthday or hand out the latest self-help bestseller for Christmas. In fact, if you think you have some new confidence-building techniques that the whole world should know, think about creating your own motivational book or workshop to make even more of an impact on others.

You'll never know how much of an impact you can have, in ways both big and small, until you commit yourself to improving the self-confidence of others.

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SolveYourProblem.com : 2006

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