SolveYourProblem eLearning Series: Self Confidence
How Do I Improve My Self Confidence?

How To Draw on Friends for Self Confidence
   

The very act of having friends can inspire confidence. You're someone who is worth being around. Friends can bring so much more to your life, though.

You should be able to count on your friends for support. When you're feeling low, they're there to tell you about your good qualities and make you feel better about yourself. They can remind you of the times when you've lacked confidence in the past while telling you that they know you can bounce back once again. They can help you put it all in perspective and perhaps serve as a source of inspiration if they've faced their own struggles with self-confidence.

While it can be good to compare yourself to your friends for inspiration, you should never do so to the point that you start to feel bad about yourself. It doesn't matter if you're friends with a Nobel-prize-winning supermodel; there is no reason to discount your own positive qualities by making unnecessary comparisons. Your friends shouldn't make you feel bad about things that they do "better" than you, either.

If you read these descriptions and find yourself thinking that you have friends that don't fit these qualities, you may want to think about the role of these friends in your life. Are they having a positive influence on you?

Are you feeling low on friends? As the years pass, we sometimes drift away from our friends when someone gets a new job, gets married or experiences some other major life change. It can be a blow to your confidence when you look around and realize that you don't have as many friends as you once had.

First, if you have some friends you have drifted apart from but would still like to stay in contact with, don't waste any time. Send an e-mail or make a quick phone call as soon as possible to let your friend know that you still want to stay in touch. Try to set up a time when you can meet for a lunch date, movie night or sporting event. It will take extra effort, but it may be possible to preserve a friendship that has started to falter.

Be willing to let a friend go, though, if it just isn't working out. You'll feel worse about yourself if you continue to have awkward conversations and disinterested meetings. Sometimes two people change to the point that they're no longer a good fit for each other, and it would do more harm than good to try to preserve the friendship. Look back on your happy memories whenever you're feeling down and take heart in the fact that if you've made new friends in the past, then you can certainly find new friends again.

The simplest step towards making new friends is to be friendly. If you're welcoming to everyone you meet, people will feel more inclined to get to know you better. If you want to make new friends, you can't be afraid to make the first move. Start with some small activity that the two of you can do together. You can ask someone new to sit by you at lunch or ask a co-worker if he'd like to work out with you. If this sounds too daunting, then consider putting together a group activity like a dinner party or a girls' night out. Then you won't have to feel like you're singling out any one person as a potential friend while expanding your social circle and paving the way for future friendships.

If someone else makes the first efforts to start a friendship or invites you to a group event, take advantage of every opportunity. Even if the activity doesn't sound too interesting at first, it's probably worth a few hours of your time to scope out a potential friend, as long as he or she isn't asking you to do anything that goes against your morals. If you keep an open mind and stay on the lookout for social opportunities, you should have new friends in no time.

Whether you're hanging out with your grade school pals or someone you met this week, positive friendships can be a constant source of self-confidence.

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SolveYourProblem.com : 2006

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