SolveYourProblem Article Series: Parenting & Family
Here's Some Friendly Parenting Advice

How Do I Keep My Kids Out Of Trouble?

Kids love attention, and they'll get it anyway they can. If they can't get your attention by doing good things, they'll get it by doing things they know are wrong. If the only time you acknowledge that your kids are around is when they do something wrong, they'll continue to do wrong things. To a child, negative attention is better than no attention. This is very important, so repeat that again: Negative attention is better than no attention.

Spending time with your kids is the best way to give them your attention. No matter if you stay at home or work outside the home, you can still give quality time to your kids. Quality time doesn't mean the whole family sitting for four hours watching TV. It means turning the TV off and playing games together, reading books, going for walks - anything!

Giving kids your attention means listening to them when they talk. I don't mean half-way listening and saying "uh huh" like we do to our spouses when they're talking about their day at work. I mean sitting down, looking children in the eye, and listening. Ask questions. Be interested. It shows that you're paying attention even if your question turns to, "So you say you painted the cat blue?"

Raising kids is not the time to be selfish with your time. You can be selfish later on when they're grown and having kids of their own. If you feel guilty about not being able to spend enough time with your kids, resist trying to buy their attention. You don't have to have every weekend a Disneyland-day. And you don't have to continually buy them gifts as a means of letting them know you love them. The answer is “time”. Time is what they want most from you.

Keep those hands busy! Kids will look for something to do if you don't provide some sort of entertainment. This doesn't mean you have to put on a constant show for them (although your kids would probably enjoy that). It also doesn't mean you have to fall off the scale on the other end and never allow them the time to be quiet and get creative with their own play. However, if you don't keep kids busy most of the time, they may choose to color on the wall, string toilet paper all over the bathroom, or pull all the towels out of the cabinet.

Your kids, no matter what age, are on some type of schedule. They get up, eat breakfast, eat lunch, eat dinner, etc. What do they do the rest of the time? Fill up some of the empty spots in their schedules with activities. Have them help you do something around the house or get them involved in a project. This is how day care workers are able to keep so many kids under control - they fill up the day with activities.

The idea behind this topic is that if your children are kept busy, they can't get into trouble. Keeping busy doesn't mean that you have to enroll your children into every conceivable activity. It means keeping them active enough that they don't have the time, or need, to look for activities to keep boredom from setting in.

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