SolveYourProblem Article Series: Parenting & Family
Here's Some Friendly Parenting Advice

How Can I Reduce The Stress Of Parenthood?

As a parent, having patience all begins with your attitude. If you're a perfectionist, now is the time to get over it - and not until your kids are grown and out of the house will everything be sane, clean, and in order (at least not all at once). If you have the attitude that it's all going to be just fine and you can deal with it for about 18 years - you're ahead of the game.

Don't take things too seriously. Allow kids to be kids and do the goofy things that they're supposed to do. This means they're going to make messes, drop and break things, spill, topple, destroy, kill, mutilate - you know, be kids. The key here is not to go ballistic when these things happen. If you accept the fact that these things will happen, you won't lose your patience when they do.

Here is a thought for you to ponder today: “I'm not going to be in a hurry today. I'm going to remain calm and relaxed. Whatever spills can be cleaned. Whatever breaks can be replaced or glued. I won't take out my anger or frustrations on my kids because I love them.”

Why are you losing your patience to begin with? You'll lose your patience because you're over-tired, over-stressed, have the feeling of being over-worked without any help, and don't have enough time for yourself. If you fix these areas, you're more likely to have patience with the little things kids can do to push your stress buttons. Fixing these areas means you go to bed earlier. Being stressed and tired is not worth staying up late to watch your favorite late-night talk shows!

If your family comes home and leaves all the work to you while they then go off and do their own thing, ask them to help you. Remind them that you didn't have kids to do all the parenting yourself and you want some help. They, in turn, will stand and scratch their head and say, "Well... what do ya mean?" That's when you sit down and divvy out chores and tasks to those in your family. If so far your family is only your spouse - or even a roommate if you're a single parent - put together chores that will take some of the work schedule off you.

You may also lose patience because your expectations for your kids are too high. You can't expect your five-year-old to sit quietly through all your favorite parts of today's soap opera, nor can you expect your one-year-old to remember to stay out of the toilet paper even though you've told him at least 50 times. He may really love toilet paper, and you may have to tell him another 50 times (along with taking the toilet paper away and moving him out of the room where the toilet paper is). Then again, maybe that same five-year-old always sits quietly while watching Sesame Street. And maybe you've only had to tell your one-year-old to leave the litter box alone three times before he got the idea.

Don't expect your kids to listen to you the same in all situations, and don't expect miracles from them. Parenting is a lot easier when you stop setting expectations that are too high on your kids and you take them at face value. Don't take devilish actions personally. When you tell your toddler not to do something and he does it anyway, he's not disobeying you to make you mad. He's either young enough that his stubbornness outweighs anything you could possibly say, or he's just testing his boundaries - pushing on the walls. Realize that this behavior is very typical, is to be expected, and shouldn't be taken personally.

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by SolveYourProblem.com : 2010

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