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Article Series: Motivation
What Will It Take To Motivate Me?
Identify
What Motivates Your Children
Motivating
your children is one of the hardest roles in parenting. Each child is individually different and
even twins can’t always be motivated in the same way. So how
do you know what will motivate each of your children to do
the best in everything they do? You will first need to listen
and get to know your child. That means spending time with them
and getting to know their likes and dislikes. Talk to them
and learn their particular needs.
Once you’ve learned what motivates your children to do things
on their own, you can expand on that and find individual ways
to motivate each of your children. Motivation needs will change,
as they grow older and mature they will need different motivations.
When children are small, motivation
for good behavior can be many different goals. One child can be motivated to be on
his best behavior by simply giving him a snack as a reward
for being good. If they have a sweet tooth, it’s possible to
buy sugar-free candies and even sugar free chocolate. I found
with my grandchildren that a promise of a Popsicle after toys
are picked up is a great motivator. I make the Popsicles myself
out of real fruit juice so they are getting a treat and something
healthy. Two for one, not bad is it?
As they grow a little older, a sucker or Popsicle won’t do
the trick any more. They require something they are more interested
in. Some may respond to a goal of being able to spend an extra
half hour watching TV or playing videos. Others may be motivated
by increased phone use, or extra playtime. You will know what
your kids will respond to by listening to them and tuning into
their feelings. How about an extra trip to the library, or
a good children’s museum, these are wonderful goals to work
for. Make it a fun time and reinforce the positive feelings
that come from happy family outings. Never underestimate how
important it is to your child to spend quality time. Quality,
happy time, is valuable in keeping your child motivated to
grow into the person you want him or her to be.
Of course, when they reach the teenage years, you have a new
ball game. Goals then change with the maturity of the
teen. Goals or motivations sometimes have to change daily. If your
son’s passion is driving, then a long-term goal of earning
his own car could be just the ticket to keeping his grades
up and staying out of trouble. Just like schools use their
sports programs to keep participants studying and doing what
is right, so can any parent do the same thing. Do you have
a child that has artistic talent? The perfect goal for them
would be a trip to the local artists supply store.
Maybe the one motivational goal you can give your children
is time with them. My grandchildren are little, but their goal
is to be the one who was good for the week so they can go to
Grandma’s house to spend the night. It has gotten the kids
through trial days at preschool, shots for school physicals,
and stays at the hospital. Each child has their own special
activity that they do with Grandma and they know they will
have Grandma’s attention the whole time they are here. That’s
not spoiling them, it is spending time to really get to know
them and what makes them want to behave and do good things.
If you know your child has a special interest, then you can
foster that interest into positive reinforcement goals.
Only you know what the best goal is to act as a motivator
for your children. Positive motivations work much better than
threats and punishment. Those sometimes work in the opposite
way and end making matters worse. Most people react to positive
reinforcement and praise than they do negative criticism and
harshness. Try a change of direction with your children. Praise
them for the little things and they will begin to see that
behaving and getting good grades in school is something worth
working for.
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by SolveYourProblem.com
: 2006
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