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Series: Assertiveness
I Want To Be More Assertive!
How To Be Assertive With Your Co-Workers and Communicate Effectively
Use the word "I" it shows that you are taking responsibility for your request and your actions.
Use the word "no" directly so that there is no confusion about your intentions.
Try to keep your explanation or apology short and sweet. Droning on and on is frustrating to others.
Appreciate that your co worker or superior may be upset that you refused extra work and say so.
If possible, find an alternative plan and suggest it.
Make sure that you repeat your refusal until the person you are speaking to acknowledges it, again ensuring that your feelings are clear.
Be aware of your body language and make sure it tells the same story you are telling verbally.
When you have a conflict, resolve it amicably and make a plan to revisit the issue. Wait one or two days and talk again so that there are no negative feelings left hanging around.
The issue of refusing extra work or asking for something gets a bit muddied when one has to deal with their superiors. You might find yourself nervous at just the thought of talking to your boss, much less asking her for something.
Even if you feel you deserve a raise you might second guess yourself when the time comes to actually make the request. Some bosses want you to feel that way, to instil fear in you so it lightens their burden. However, a boss that respects you as an intelligent and valuable member of their team is more likely to want his employees to be comfortable.
How To Be Assertive With Your Boss
Decide which battles are worth fighting and when is the right time to fight them. Figure out what the real problem is or what you are trying to get.
Maintain appropriate physical, mental, and emotional energy when it comes time for a meeting or discussion. Remember that your body language and tone are as important as the words you use.
While you are confronting your boss be sure to maintain his or her status by speaking to them with respect. They earned respect so be sure to give it to them even if they do not see your point of view.
If the problem you are addressing really boils down to a personality conflict you must be willing to accept the ramifications of your actions.
More often than most of us realize, problems at work stem from a lack of assertiveness. Once you understand what rights you are entitled and how to communicate with others your workplace will be less stressful. Less conflict and less stress leads to increased productivity. If you can increase your productivity simply by removing negative elements in yourself others will follow. Before you know it that promotion you have been chasing will finally come your way.
