How Can Women Be Great In Bed?

You explained quite well some ideas on how a man can sexually turn on a woman. Now tell me...what does a woman need to do for a man to say, "Wow, She is great in bed"?

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Hey Sister!

That's a great question! Interestingly, I'm just finishing the chapter in the new book ("Being a Man in a Woman's World II"), entitled "Sex!" which discusses sexual proficiency in men. So, since it's on my mind, (when isn't it?), let me offer this:

Most women believe that they are pretty good in bed. In fact, while I've had many sexual partners, very few of them have been really great. Further, I've talked to a large number of guys with exactly the same experience. So, why the distance between what the women think, and the men know?

There are a number of reasons why:

* Men don't usually have as much difficulty extracting pleasure out of sex as women do, and thus aren't as demanding.

* Women don't expect, (and often aren't expected), to do very much in bed, thus they don't!

* While women are focused on the quality of their relationships, they aren't as focused on the quality or their sexual skills.

* Men don't often tell women what they want from them.

* Women mistakenly think that all men want is the orgasm, when in fact; men have many varied interests in sex

* Men are taught very early on to focus on the woman rather than themselves.

So, if you were to distill things down to their most fundamental elements, I believe these are the things that make women great in bed:

* Enthusiasm - looking forward to sex; both giving AND receiving.

* Responsibility - taking responsibility for their own pleasure and getting involved with it - not putting all the pressure on their men.

* Openness - The willingness to talk about what she wants, and to ask what he likes. Then, to really understand what he means and question what she doesn't.

* Willingness to experiment with new things.

* Availability - Being available for sex whenever, and wherever.

* Involvement - Willingness to do some of the work! Don't make us do it all - get involved happily and voluntarily.

Some final points are in order:

* Obviously, different men want different things, but in general, most men enjoy oral sex. Learning to give good oral sex is a duty, not a luxury!

* Be willing to tell us what you like, and what you don't. We're not mind readers, but we DO want to know what curls your toes.

* If we don't know, show us! Let's work together to discover what works for you. We'll do the same thing in return.

* If you're absolutely against something we want to do, we'll understand, but just not being sure isn't the same as being dead set against, so be open to new ideas.

* Tell us your fantasies. We want to know what makes you tingle deep down in your depths.

* Tell us your limits. We love, and respect you. We don't want to do anything to hurt you!

* But, trust us too. We're probably more experienced sexually than you are! Take advantage of it!

* Don't be shy - we're all adults here. We want to see, touch, taste and feel your body - every part of it.

I hope that helps shed some light on this!

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

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