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Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
How Low
Can You Go?
Doc:
I have a situation
that I need to know if there is any hope of recovery. I dated
a woman for about 3 years and then she broke it off. We were
separated about two years and I initiated contact again. She
said she still had feelings for me but did not want a relationship.
In the meantime,
her best friend was telling me every negative thing that my
ex would say about me and she would always call me and tell
me my ex was a fool. By what she was saying, I knew the conversations
she said she had were true. One night her best friend, who was
visiting my city form out of state, called me over and told
me the reason my ex did not want a relationship with me was
because she was having an affair with a married man.
That news broke
my heart! Anyway, the best friend and I had sex that night.
She went back home the next day and after a few months she realized
that my feelings for my ex would not change, (she had always
known how I felt), so she called my ex and told her about us
being in relationship. She lied and said we did not sleep together,
but when my ex asked me. I told her the truth. My ex reacted
as if she and I were married, crying and screaming; but all
along she did not know that I knew she was having an affair.
So when I could
get a word in, I told her that I knew and she got very quiet.
That was four years ago. Today, she still wants a relationship
with her friend, and not me, EXCEPT when she feels me ignoring
her! She told my best friend a year ago that she still loves
me and she forgives me but she still keeps me at a distance.
She is still having an “on-again, off-again” affair with the
married man. She even had an abortion of his child, which she
doesn't want me to know about.
Can a woman get
over the fact of a man having one time sex with her friend even
though we had not been in relation ship for 2 or 3 years?
-----------------------------------
Hello!
What in the hell
are you thinking??? How low is your self-esteem??
This woman was
sleeping with this married man while she was seeing you, and
even aborted his child! It's obvious that "married guy"
isn't going to leave his wife for your ex, but that's her problem
- not yours! I don't care WHAT she says to you - even if she
claims that she loves you. Is that really "love"?
I hope not!
You slept with
her friend when you weren't with her - you've done absolutely
NOTHING wrong here and your ex has NO RIGHT to feel anything
about it! In fact, it isn't any of her damn business and you
should make that clear in no uncertain terms!
My brother, get
your head out of your ass and start to see this for what it
is. This woman is an attention whore and a BITCH. She used you,
and when she's feeling down, she calls to use you some more!
Kick that bitch to the curb and find a REAL woman that cares
about you - your ex doesn't. All she cares about is herself!
In fact, her friend would be a far better choice than she is!
Why do you think
you deserve this abuse? Let me tell you - you don't deserve
it. However, since you continue to hang on, your ex isn't at
fault here for this continued abuse - YOU ARE.
Cut that cord and
move on with your life.
Best regards...
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Have a love, relationship,
sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write
to me at dwneder@beingman.com
for answers. For more information about my books, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
products visit: www.beingaman.com.
Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.
Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
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