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Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...

 

"Convert": Date to Sex


Doc:

I've read your book "Being a Man in a Woman’s World", and I'm also a member of Dating Insider. I've also read many other books like "48 Laws of Power & The Art of Seduction" (R. Green), “How to Win Friends...”, (Dale Carnegie), and countless others.

I'm 22 years old and would consider myself a very attractive man who dresses nice and has a wonderful sense of humor. I'm not just saying this to sound good- other people have told me this as well. I follow your advice on how to approach woman, i.e. walking away after I get the number to leave them wanting more; waiting for them to ask me my name after I ask them theirs to see if theirs interest, etc.

With all this skill, I still can't seem to create sexual desire in women when I'm with them. I live by myself, and when women come over we almost never have sex. This may seem pretty sad but I've had my own apartment for over a year and I've only had sex in my apartment with one girl although I've had many over!

I have been told that I keep a nice, clean apartment. To even stress the fact that I know it's ME and not some other factor keeping me from getting laid, I'm even a member of a national college fraternity that is known for attracting women because of the common sex appeal of its members...and I still don't get enough sex. I can't seem to put my finger on it. Friends I hang around brag about how much sex they get all the time.

Hello!

First, great job on your education. These books are the key to really learning to understand women. Imagine all the guys out there twice your age that haven't read a single one! Believe me, they write to me all the time. You've got a huge step up by having this under your belt.

The trick to sex is learning to "convert" the evening from personal to sexual. You do this in stages. At the beginning of the evening you focus on her - asking her about herself, to describe things she remembers from her childhood, her work, where she lived, etc. Slowly, you want to begin turning the conversation toward sex. You also want to drop subtle innuendo along the way.

Eventually, as you sense she is getting more comfortable with the sexual talk, you can add more - but wait and read her cues. Don't try to move too fast, or she'll shut you down. Remember too, that first kiss is a real key. I'm assuming that you get it over with early in the date - right? If you've been reading the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman, I've been talking about how to use an "opening kiss" rather than to wait until the end of the evening. This is especially important if you want to convert an evening to sex. This way, you're set a direction, and the rest of the evening can continue to hint at sex.

Keep in mind, you are expected to make most if not all the moves here. I know that probably seems unfair, as it's actually the woman that decides if you will or will not have sex, but that's the way the game is played. Thus, by the time you get back to your place, she should already be "warmed up". You should have kissed her passionately at least a few times.

Back at your place is where you really want to put on the moves. You should be sure by this point if she is open to sex. Here's an article that talks about this critical aspect of making the first move:

http://www.beingaman.com/making_the_first_move.htm

Just like following the tips in "Being a Man in a Woman's World" will get you numbers and dates, this article, and the much-expanded version soon to be released in "Being a Man in a Woman's World II" will get you laid. Just follow the instructions!

Best regards...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.



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3. What Do Men Really Want?
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