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Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
"Convert":
Date to Sex
Doc:
I've read your
book "Being a Man in a Woman’s World", and I'm also
a member of Dating Insider. I've also read many other books
like "48 Laws of Power & The Art of Seduction"
(R. Green), “How to Win Friends...”, (Dale Carnegie), and countless
others.
I'm 22 years old
and would consider myself a very attractive man who dresses
nice and has a wonderful sense of humor. I'm not just saying
this to sound good- other people have told me this as well.
I follow your advice on how to approach woman, i.e. walking
away after I get the number to leave them wanting more; waiting
for them to ask me my name after I ask them theirs to see if
theirs interest, etc.
With all this skill,
I still can't seem to create sexual desire in women when I'm
with them. I live by myself, and when women come over we almost
never have sex. This may seem pretty sad but I've had my own
apartment for over a year and I've only had sex in my apartment
with one girl although I've had many over!
I have been told
that I keep a nice, clean apartment. To even stress the fact
that I know it's ME and not some other factor keeping me from
getting laid, I'm even a member of a national college fraternity
that is known for attracting women because of the common sex
appeal of its members...and I still don't get enough sex. I
can't seem to put my finger on it. Friends I hang around brag
about how much sex they get all the time.
Hello!
First, great job
on your education. These books are the key to really learning
to understand women. Imagine all the guys out there twice your
age that haven't read a single one! Believe me, they write to
me all the time. You've got a huge step up by having this under
your belt.
The trick to sex
is learning to "convert" the evening from personal
to sexual. You do this in stages. At the beginning of the evening
you focus on her - asking her about herself, to describe things
she remembers from her childhood, her work, where she lived,
etc. Slowly, you want to begin turning the conversation toward
sex. You also want to drop subtle innuendo along the way.
Eventually, as
you sense she is getting more comfortable with the sexual talk,
you can add more - but wait and read her cues. Don't try to
move too fast, or she'll shut you down. Remember too, that first
kiss is a real key. I'm assuming that you get it over with early
in the date - right? If you've been reading the discussion group
at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman,
I've been talking about how to use an "opening kiss"
rather than to wait until the end of the evening. This is especially
important if you want to convert an evening to sex. This way,
you're set a direction, and the rest of the evening can continue
to hint at sex.
Keep in mind, you
are expected to make most if not all the moves here. I know
that probably seems unfair, as it's actually the woman that
decides if you will or will not have sex, but that's the way
the game is played. Thus, by the time you get back to your place,
she should already be "warmed up". You should have
kissed her passionately at least a few times.
Back at your place
is where you really want to put on the moves. You should be
sure by this point if she is open to sex. Here's an article
that talks about this critical aspect of making the first move:
http://www.beingaman.com/making_the_first_move.htm
Just like following
the tips in "Being a Man in a Woman's World" will
get you numbers and dates, this article, and the much-expanded
version soon to be released in "Being a Man in a Woman's
World II" will get you laid. Just follow the instructions!
Best regards...
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Have a love, relationship,
sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write
to me at dwneder@beingman.com
for answers. For more information about my books, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
products visit: www.beingaman.com.
Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.
Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
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