Get Out of "Friendship Hell"

Doctor:

I met this girl over a year ago. She is 11 years younger than me, (I’m 41). We spent the entire afternoon talking by ourselves. We hit it off pretty well. No numbers exchanged, but I did give her my e-mail address, (I asked her for her number almost a year later and she reused to give it to me).

She wrote to me a month later. We have been corresponding ever since. I came on to her though an email and she told me that she only wanted to be friends. Her last boy friend dumped her after being together for 9 months and she was devastated. She claimed that he was her soul mate.

After a year I got brave and asked her out to lunch. She invited her female friend to come along. She cancelled at the last minute. I asked again a month later and she said no, plus told me that I would not be able to find a girlfriend of my own if we hang out together, which we never have. I wrote her back and told her that our friendship was over because it is no fun just writing to a woman and not being able to go out with her, even if it is just as friends.

She called me four days later to clear the air as to why I was ending our friendship. This is the first time that she has ever called. She told me that she invested her time in this friendship and did not want it to end. I said ok we will stay friends but she has to open up a bit more .She told me that once she gets close to a guy, she begins to distance herself so that she will not get hurt again.

She rarely talks about any personal stuff of her own, but she always asks me personal questions, (what kind of women do I like to date, why did I break up with my ex-girlfriend, describe my ex-wife, etc.) Also I wanted to go out with her time permitting. She said if it was ok to bring her friend along as a security blanker. I said ok. I like her, and want to get closer to her (be her boyfriend) but I don’t know how to approach her without losing our friendship.

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Hello!

My brother, where do I begin here?? How about this: This woman is a total bitch!!!!

This woman is a user and an "attention whore". Sure, she doesn't want the friendship to end - she gets everything she wants out of it - and you get nothing, nada, zero, zilch, bupkiss - NOTHING!

She's got you there to cheer her up, to answer her questions about men, to do anything SHE wants when SHE wants to do it! She is in complete control here and full well knows what YOU want. But, since SHE is in control, SHE gets to decide what SHE will give you (which is nothing), and you just keep hanging on like a little lost puppy!

My brother, I live here in Los Angeles too, and believe me, there are a TON of women just like this one. If all you want is a friendship, why not go find a stripper - then at least you'd get to see her naked once in a while!

My advice: Don't worry about losing her friendship - DUMP THAT BITCH!!

NEVER agree to a friendship with a woman you want to bang! Why? For many reasons including the fact that women don't make good friends for men for exactly the reasons I've described above (and more). What you want is to find a woman that ISN'T a user and abuser; that actually likes you, not for what you can give her, but for who you are.

Both DI and my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" are all about deciding what you want, and then getting it while at the same time avoiding these bitches. There is no reason you should be going through this kind of crap. You deserve much, much better - Dennis knows!

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

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