The Married Woman and The Date

Hi Doc,

I met a very desirable woman recently and need your advice. The woman is polished, married and black. The evening we met she sidled up close, asked for kiss and suggested going dancing.

I tracked her down awhile later and asked her dancing on short notice, that same evening. She said she'd try but wound up not being able to make it. Following up later with alternative suggestions I eventually used the word 'date'. Upon receiving this she immediately went into LJBF mode, asking what I meant by that, telling me she's married, etc.

So my first question is what's going on here? What is she/her body really looking for, given her martial status and knock out attractiveness?

My second question is how can I go about insuring the best chance of banging her? I haven’t seen her for weeks; we're supposed to meet up to ascertain what 'date' means. I insisted that kind of conversation would have to be in person, to which she agreed. My strategy at the moment is to negotiate something that meets her criteria, while leaving some subtle and mutually recognized room for maneuver into her.

-----------------------

Hello!

Dealing with married women is very different from women that are dating or single. There's a huge amount of stigma applied by family, friends, society, etc., in order to try to keep married people faithful.

The fact is however that many married women feel neglected by their husbands, and start looking for outside validation. They flirt, kiss, and generally play guys all the time - all without any intention of taking it further. Their only goal is to get the attention they aren't getting at home. Of course, as soon as things get sexual, they pull the LJBF thing to try to ward it off.

Unless you're interested in being played by this woman, you need to define what "dating" means! She's going to push for getting as much attention, time and even affection as possible without having to give up anything – all while explaining to her husband that you’re just a “friend”. You of course need to set the foundation for what you're willing to give, and what you want to get in return.

When you meet to discuss what "date" means; you should be absolutely firm. Tell her that you'll only be willing to give her attention if she's going to give you back what you want. No exceptions. She can call it anything she wants - even "friends" if that makes her feel better - but a "date" is exactly that. If she doesn't agree to this entirely, just tell her to move on and find some other jerk to boost her sagging ego.

Best regards...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.