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Online dating tips and relationship advice from Dr. Neder...
Can Women
Make The First Move?
Doc:
This guy I have
been seeing for several weeks is throwing me mixed signals.
We have been hanging out a lot. The usual stuff - movies, dinner,
go-karts, we went and saw an art exhibit I wanted to check out,
ect. For the most part he has shown basic textbook dating behavior.
He seems sort of shy and nervous sometimes around me, he listens
intently to my every word, pays for me most of the time, is
all but twice been the one to always call and was kissing me
goodnight when he dropped me off.
The last two or
three times we hung out he hasn't kissed me goodnight (or it
didn't seem like there was one coming) so I've just told him
I had a good time and I will see him soon or whatever. Admittedly
I haven't tried to lean in and lay one on him, but the primary
reason I haven't tried to kiss him is I am not really sure where
I stand with this guy...
My question is:
Is there a way to tell this guy I like hanging out with him
and I am attracted to him, but I was hoping we might be able
to sleep together once in a while and not have to make a big
thing out of it?
Is that bad form?
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Hello!
I can certainly
say this: this guy isn't one of my students!
Women have the
mistaken idea that they can't be even the slight bit aggressive
in relationships. This is a holdover from days past and is absolutely
"last millennium"! Let me ask you this: if you wanted
a job with a particular company, would you just hang around
outside the front door and wait for someone to come out and
offer you a job? Of course not! You'd walk in, ask for an application,
ask to speak to someone in the hiring department, etc.
So, why do you
think you have to do this with a relationship?
I don't know why
this guy isn't making any moves on you, but there's absolutely
nothing wrong with you making moves on him if he doesn't know
any better. In fact, many guys are just afraid of getting shot
down and actually wait for women to do something. Perhaps this
guy is like this.
So, the next time
you see him, why not just give him a big sensual kiss and recommend
that you forget the movie tonight. Or even better, why don't
you make dinner for him and give him a dessert he'll never forget?
There's no "bad form" there at all, just two people
doing what two people do!
Best regards...
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Have a love, relationship,
sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write
to me at dwneder@beingman.com
for answers. For more information about my books, "Being
a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other
products visit: www.beingaman.com.
Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.
Copyright (c) 2004-2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
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