Building a "Hip" Wardrobe

Hey dude,

My question is about looking and attracting the right sort of attention. Being an accountant and a violin teacher I obviously am "out of touch" with the style of attractive clothing at the moment. What would you recommend so that I don't spend heaps of money, or look like a geek? By the way, I’m in Australia if that makes any difference.

Hello!

First, I see no direct correlation between being an accountant and a violin teacher and "being out of touch". If you're out of touch, it's only because you don't expand your own horizons!

If you're looking to "hipify" yourself, here are some ideas:

The first step is to create a persona for yourself. Try to imagine someone you admire and how they would dress. You want to define your "target market" - the women you're interested in pursing. Where do these girls hang out? What are they looking for in men? What type of men catches their eye? This is the "look" you're going for. Remember also, you're not necessarily going to dress like this all the time. You're only creating your "battle wardrobe". These are the clothes you choose when you go out hunting, so you're not going to need a lot of them.

This wardrobe needs to be flexible enough to be mixed up. A simple black suit is a good example. It works well at the opera AND at a job interview. You can dress it up by adding a colorful tie, or dress it down by adding a turtleneck sweater or open shirt, so think in terms of flexibility when you choose clothes. Also keep in mind that color is an important factor. If you stick with basic colors: black, gray and navy blue, you'll have a wardrobe that will work in most any situation.

Once you have an idea of the type of women you want to attract and therefore the persona you're trying to create, start reading some current men's magazines like Esquire and Maxim (I believe these are available down under). These mags are all about men's fashion and setting a hip edge. Once you get an idea of what is trendy, stop. Don't rush out and buy anything you see yet. Instead, try to imagine how they are going to fit your target market, and what adjustments you need to make.

What you want to do is to refine the "look" you're going for. Just because you see some guys wearing something in particular, don't just adopt that style for yourself. You need to see if it really fits the image you're trying to create. For example, a 40 year old dressing like a 20 year old "gangsta" is just sad. Consider that building your wardrobe is part of your overall plan. This plan not only includes creating a current look, it also involves defining specifically the women you're targeting, how you're going to go about meeting them, what you want from relationships in the short, medium and long-term, etc. If you're not sure how to go about creating your plan, get a copy of "Being a Man in a Woman's World" and read it through. It has 3 chapters, along with exercises dedicated specifically to creating this plan.

Another key element is to let women help you create this look. I recommend this to guys all the time: get your sister, ex-girlfriend, a co-worker, or someone else, (you probably should stop at your mother or aunt, however), to help you here. Women not only have a great eye to fashion, they can't wait to help "recreate" you! Further, you should let them! However, if you don't have a plan to work from, you're not likely going to be happy with what they create for you, so don't try this without a plan! Let them work within this plan you create for yourself by helping you shop and showing you what fits with what in your new and existing wardrobe.

When you're building this wardrobe pay particular attention to your shoes and belt - women will. If you have great shoes that are kept neat and polished, and you have a belt that matches, you're going to get big points. Also, watch the cut of the clothes. Well-chosen clothes should improve your look, not take it away. Depending on the type of women you're trying to attract, (and your physical condition), form-fitting clothes may be a good choice. For other women however, form-reducing clothes may work better - consult that plan!

Remember this key as you shop for a new look: being hip is in the attitude, not entirely in the way you dress. You want to get yourself out and start hanging around hip people. Clubs are one place to do this, but the problem is you'll encounter a ton of "posers" - guys that are there with a look and no substance. You have substance; so can easily separate yourself from the pack. But, keep an eye on the goal. A new wardrobe that fits your plan is going to do wonders for your confidence. A poorly conceived wardrobe will do just the opposite.

Finally, when it comes to dating, relationships, and fashion, my advice is always the same: don't be a follower, be a student!

Best regards...

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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingman.com for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World" (volume I & II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.

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