Love & Romance
4 Keys To Sharing Intimacy
By Conrad L. Jones
Jan 10, 2005, 19:09

Why do we even care to share our hearts, feelings, thoughts and lives with someone we care deeply about?

Why do I want so badly to intimately share myself with thies person?

Know what? That's a question that I've often asked myself a number of times.

I feel that we do this simply because we want the object of our affection to respond to us in that same manner. We give and share our love with them simply because deep down inside our hearts, we crave their love, admiration and affection in return. Everybody wants to feel loved and admired! And I feel that there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to receive love in return for giving it.

Now while I'm no expert but merely a student in giving and receiving love, let me share some personal view-points from my experiences about sharing intimately.

P.S. I feel there aren't any experts simply because the expression of love takes so many forms and because we're all different and give and receive differently, that one could not possibly understand all love's ways but we are all constantly learning new ones everyday. So, we are all students of love.

Now where was I? Oh yeah, we were talking about intimate sharing right? Good, let's continue!

Intimate Sharing is all about communicating in your relationships with open emotions and honesty which never passes judgment on your partner or mate. Please understand that emotions are neither good nor bad, moral nor immoral but like a knife, can be used to cook or kill. In other words, how you display or manage your emotions can be good or bad. In this kind of sharing, you seek to express yourself to the other person in ways that they not only understand the meaning of your words, but also understand what you mean by what you don't say - body language.

Okay, so sharing intimately involves sharing feeling, thoughts, ideas, fears, wishes etc; It is truly about sharing who we really are with the person we care deeply about who feels the same way about us, so, here's where to begin.

• Key #1 - Begin by sitting down together and honestly looking at the different areas you both share in or would like to start being more open with such as; feelings, thoughts, fears etc. Both people need to become involve if you want to make any lasting change.

• Key #2 - Next, make a mutual agreement to never pass judgment on each other when they begin opening up and expressing their thoughts, ideas etc. This means that you stop telling each other their feelings, fears etc about various things is stupid, foolish etc; just accept that this is how they feel. If you do begin passing judgment, your partner will revert to not opening up and you'll both end up back where you started.

• Key #3 - The easiest area I've personally found to begin with is my wishes. You may start in any one you wish but just start somewhere. Remember that this will take time and effort so be prepared to work with each other. Never mind the days when it seems your partner has reverted back to being the strong silent type, sometimes as people we just don't want to talk about a certain situation at that moment but when we feel more comfortable, will express ourselves.

• Key #4 - Also remember that we express ourselves to those who don't make us feel silly and who we are comfortable sharing with. The best thing you can do is create an environment where you partner feels comfortable talking to you and enjoy sharing. Watch your attitude and body language! We often can sense when others aren't listening or care about what we say.

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