The Divorce Revolution Has Failed

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Divorce
The Divorce Revolution Has Failed
By J. Bailey Molineux
Oct 21, 2002, 17:50

"America's divorce revolution has failed, "states the Council on Families in America in their March 1995 publication, Marriage in America: A Report to the Nation, "with devastating consequences for the well-being of children." Many of the social ills we face today - poverty, drug abuse and violence - can be attributed to the breakdown in marriage.

In strong, impassioned language, the council calls upon all segments of society, public and private, to do everything possible to strengthen marriages and prevent divorce. Its goal is "to increase the proportion of children who grow up with their two married parents and decrease the proportion of children who do not."

By many indices, child well-being has decreased in the United States during the past thirty years:

Violent juvenile crime has increased six times from 1960 to 1992.

Child neglect and abuse has increased four times since 1976.

Teen suicides have tripled.

Childhood poverty has increased from 15 percent in 1970 to 22 percent today.

In the face of these statistics, one must ask in anguish, "What are we doing to our children?"

Other data show clearly that children are stressed by the divorce of their parents:

Seventy percent of youth in juvenile correctional facilities did not live with both parents while growing up.
Children whose parents divorced are two to three times more likely to develop psychological problems than youth from intact families.
Eighty percent of psychiatric admissions for children are from divorced homes.
Seventy-five percent of teen suicides experienced the divorce of their parents.

The statistics are worrisome but make sense. The marriage is the keystone to how the family functions and the family provides emotional security and love to the children. If we continue at this rate, with 50 percent of children expected to experience the divorce of their parents and 30 percent born out-of-wedlock, we are a society in trouble.

Not only has divorce contributed to a decrease in child well-being, the report goes on to say, it has not delivered on its promise of greater adult happiness. Divorce is painful. The higher the divorce rate goes, the less likely people are to invest themselves fully in their marriages, and so the more likely they are to divorce. It is a snowball effect. Till death do us part has been replaced by as long as we remain happy, and yet people who remarry are more likely to experience divorce again.

Maybe, the report suggests, we ought to put the welfare of our children ahead of our concerns for personal happiness.

This would not necessarily entail a return to the stay-together-for-the-sake-of-the-children attitude which kept people trapped in miserable marriage, however. There are some divorces, the report recognizes, which are necessary and healthier for parents and their offspring. In cases of chronic abuse, addictions, infidelity, fighting and marital misery, divorce is a better option than staying married.

But many marriages can be saved if people are willing to work on them. And society should do everything possible to help those distressed couples save their marriages.

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