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SolveYourProblem Article Series: Self Improvement & Personal Growth
I Want A Better Life...NOW

    

The Anatomy Of Joy
by J. Bailey Molineux

Most therapists treat depressed patients every working day but I doubt many patients consider the possibility of joy as the best anti-depressant there is.

Let's be realistic, however: there are times, perhaps too many times, when life stinks, and joy is the furthest emotion from us. Life is a mixture of sorrow and joy, pain and pleasure.

Have you heard the joke that a psychotherapist is a high priced professional who makes you realize how miserable your life is? It's true! Therapists encourage patients to fully face their suffering, and not run from it.

Here's something that may seem even more bizarre about psychotherapy: its purpose, in my view, is not necessarily to eliminate negative emotions - hurt, sadness, anger, and fear - but to free people to feel their feelings. Effective psychotherapy hurts.

But we therapists attempt to redefine suffering as an opportunity for growth. The so called negative emotions are there for our protection and benefit. They're trying to get our attention, to tell us it's time to heal, change or grieve.

What people are afraid of, understandably, in doing therapeutic work is feeling their emotional pain. Once they begin to cry or rage, they're afraid they won't be able to stop.

But the tears eventually do dry up; the anger fades to be replaced by forgiveness. There is a natural healing in letting emotions out in a controlled manner that is not overwhelming.

And then a strange thing can happen: joy can begin to creep into our lives. Having been open to the pain of life, we're better able to experience and appreciate the pleasures.

There can be no joy without gratitude. Therapists often want people to see the cup as half full , rather than half empty, as their moods will change accordingly. No matter how bad life gets, it can help to recognize there are some things for which we can be grateful, even if it is that we're not as bad off as someone else who is less fortunate.

Joy can only be found in the present moment. Worrying about, or planning for, the future, while necessary at times, can interfere with enjoying what is happening now. It is only in the now that everything can be seen as a miracle and every moment as holy.

Joy can best be found in simple things: a cup of tea, a beautiful sunset, snow falling gently, your favorite music, the caring touch of a loved one, watching children play, the graceful perfection of walking. Money, fame, position, power, status - these are no guarantors of joy. Rather it is freely available to us all, without having to earn it, and not just the privileged few.

In fact, the mystics tell us that joy is our birthright, the natural condition of our lives. Just look at the spontaneous, joy-filled behavior of young children unencumbered by adult concerns.

Obviously, as adults, we can't expect to experience joy all the time. There will always be worries, problems and daily drudgery to diminish it.

But the possibility of joy always remains available to us. "If only people knew how perfect everything is," wrote Alan Watts, "they would go wild with joy." Perhaps this realization can sustain us through the tough times.

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Posted: Oct 7, 2002
About The Author / Credits:
J. Bailey Molineux, Ph.D. is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and author of the book Loving Isn't Easy Copyright 2002 J. Bailey Molineux and Selfhelpbooks.com, all rights reserved. This article maybe reprinted but must include author's copyright and website hyperlinks to SelfHelpBooks.com.
Web Site: Book: Loving Isn't Easy
email Address:

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Anxiety / Panic: How To Cure Anxiety
Depression: How To Help and Deal With Depression
Eat Healthy: How To Eat Less Calories To Lose Weight
Emotions: How To Find Happiness
Empowerment: How To Turn Your Bad Day Around. Turn Your Frown Upside Down.
Motivation: How To Overcome Your Lack Of Motivation
Pain Relief: How To Get Rid Of A Headache
Pain Relief: How To Cure Back Pain
Self-Confidence: Low Self-Confidence? How To Build, Increase and Get Self-Confidence
Self-Discipline: What is Self-Discipline? How To Develop Self-Discipline.
Self Improvement: How To Improve The Quality Of Your Life
Self Improvement: What The Most Important Words To Live By
Self Improvement: How To Stop Self Sabotage and Enjoy Your Life
Self Improvement: How To Quickly Pick Yourself Up After You Fail
Self Improvement: How To Overcome Challenges and Obstacles In Your Life
Self Improvement: Why You Should Learn Something New Every Day
Self Improvement: What Are The Benefits Of Laughter
Sleep / Insomnia: How To Sleep Better and Faster
Stress: How To De Stress, Relieve Stress and Reduce It To Nothing
Weight Loss / Dieting: How To Lose Weight Fast, Easy and At Home

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