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eLearning Series:
I Don't Want To Be Addicted Anymore!
( 8 pages )
Healthy
Living & Healthy Choices
Healthier living
is a choice. And here are some choice tips towards a healthier
approach to life.
ONLINE
COMMUNICATIONS
For help 24 / 7,
reach out via the World Wide Web. A variety of chat boards,
list groups, email pals, message boards and other means of cyber-communications
can help link people up for fellowship during their recovery.
And some programs, like 12-steps, offer online meetings for
those unable to attend in person. Used in a safe and sensible
manner, these online communication systems can offer healing
interaction among fellow addiction fighters.
Here are some general
guidelines to follow for safe, healthy and effective communications.
First, depending upon the means of communication, most generally
offer the user to key or type in comments, questions, share
ideas, ask for help, cry on cyber-shoulders, etc. pretty much
instantly. And those places with archived posts allow for browsing
and in-depth reading for those wanting to learn more on their
own. Take time to look around and learn the system and setup.
Ask the moderator or person in charge of the site (usually listed
on the Contact Us page) for help.
Second, when typing
responses, do not use all capital letters. That means shouting
to some people and they may take offense.
And third, be leery
of sharing images. They can be altered and re-used by anyone.
Scenic shots might be fine to share, like of recovery places
to visit (public parks, scenic drives, etc.) However, think
twice before sharing family photos online with strangers. Ask
permission if others are in the shots, too, before sharing.
If you don’t have their permission, don’t share - - general
rule of thumb.
Online
Safety Tips
Don’t disclose
personal information or anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Many people feel they have the right to ask anything and plunge
right on in. Ignore them, use your delete button or simply say
that you are not comfortable discussing “that” right now.
Try not to be rude,
even if the other inquiring person is, and try to keep out of
cyber-fights. If you need help, seek out the moderator or webmaster
(usually linked on the bottom of the website pages.) If all
else fails, move on to another forum, message board or other
cyber-location, and leave that one alone for awhile. If and
when things calm down, you can always revisit, see how things
are and try again.
Don’t lie. Part
of recovery is facing denial and no more lies. So if you are
not comfortable telling the truth, stop. Don’t lie, just stop.
Return to healing and recovery resources that you ARE comfortable
with and don’t harm yourself. Realize that all kinds of people
of all ages jump on the Internet, many healthy, but many unhealthy.
So not every place is a healthy environment for you at all times.
Nothing personal, it’s just life. Period. And it’s not your
fault; there’s nothing you can do. Instead, seek healthier recovery
activities and keep healing!
Avoid topics that
can trigger bad episodes, especially those that could possibly
mean returning to past addiction –related issues. Here’s a visual
way to explain this, as shared at some recovery 12-step meetings:
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One of Life’s Paths
A man walks down
the sidewalk and falls into a hole. He picks himself up, dusts
himself off, climbs out of the hole and moves on.
Next time this
same man walks down that same sidewalk, he sees the hole up
ahead and decides to go around it. However, just as he skirts
the edge of the hole, he accidentally falls in again. As before,
he picks himself up, dusts himself off, climbs out of the hole
and moves on.
A third time going
down the same sidewalk, this same man walks a little farther
away from the hole, trying to by-pass it. However, he trips
over a rock in the path and falls in again anyway. And as before,
he picks himself up, dusts himself off, climbs out of the hole
and moves on.
The forth time
- - the same man chooses a DIFFERENT sidewalk and enjoys his
walk. The hole isn’t there; he doesn’t fall; there’s no need
to climb out. Success!
Moral of the story:
choose your paths wisely!
----------------------------------------------------------------
MORE HEALTHY
LIVING DAY-TO-DAY TIPS
Good Habits
– Bad habits took time to develop; so do good ones.
Take it a day at a time and focus on replacing the bad ones
with good ones. Jot your progress down in a private journal.
Reward your good days and good times with stickers, colored
marker smiles, silly color-pencil sketches, etc. And stick with
it! Remember “slow and steady wins the race,” not racing through
things like the tortoise!
Be Your
Best Friend - Forgive yourself and be a friend to yourself.
No one is perfect. Be aware of your inner feelings and take
care to find healthy outlets for yourself. For example, find
healthy ways to express anger (yes, it’s OK to be angry sometimes!)
and healthy outlets for fun (around healthy people and places).
Parent yourself by adopting better grooming habits, eating healthier
and getting plenty of rest. And have your support network and
healthcare professionals on your team help you learn how to
handle stress and anything that triggers old addictive behaviors
and ways to pop up. Jot down notes for reference, if necessary,
but bring them out as soon as you can and face them so that
you can overcome them with healthier alternatives. Messed up
in the meantime? Forgive yourself and move on. Don’t dwell on
the negative. Instead, embrace the positive and your new network,
support team and resources.
Stop and
Smell the Roses – Life does have a lot to offer. And
much is forgotten during stages of addiction. Keep an ongoing
list or fun, neat things you’d like to do and USE it. For some
ideas refer to the five senses; sight, taste, touch, smell,
sound. For example your list can include a walk in the park,
collecting leaves, a swim at a local hotel or YMCA, sitting
on a porch swing with a friend, singing your favorite songs,
whistling your favorite tunes, enjoying a warm bubble bath,
buying some fresh flowers, lighting a scented candle, eating
your favorite healthy foods, preparing a fun snack and sharing
it with a friend, playing a board game and walking the dog.
When you’re bored, anxious, or just need a break, grab your
list and choose an item to do or plan.
Self-Improvement
– Often addiction problems get started and continue because
of lack of self-esteem. So reach out and continue your education,
either formally or informally. Read motivational materials,
listen to self-help tapes, watch inspiring movies, videos and
DVDs. Learn goal setting, money handling, business skills, time
management skills and more through library books, local workshops
and online opportunities. Take charge of your life and be responsible.
With learning opportunities available from free to all variety
of budget ranges, the time for excuses is over!
Time-Out
– This does not refer to the “time out” punishment,
like sending a child to stand in the corner at a daycare facility.
This is a time-out for yourself and allowing “bad” stress to
take its course. In reality not everything is perfect. And that’s
OK. There is no need to get high, drunk or escape in any other
unhealthy way every time things aren’t perfect. Acceptance is
OK. In other words, it’s OK to feel angry, sad, unhappy or other
not so positive feelings sometimes. That’s natural and part
of life.
However, instead
of turning to negative addictive behaviors, get with your support
team ahead of time and plan pro-active strategies for handling
these sometimes-difficult issues. For example with anger, punch
a pillow. Shed some tears when you’re sad. Take a time-out break
and rest during heavier issues. Relax with some herbal tea.
Tell yourself everything will be OK. And enjoy some relaxing
music.
Then before you
know it, the sun will come back up, and everything will be OK
again. As they say, there is a season for everything. Life is
a process and each of us has to take the good with the bad and
make that proverbial lemonade out of lemons. “Bad” times may
get you down for a while, but turn them around as quickly as
you can and reach out for healthier “good” behaviors.
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